Nobody can sum up in a few pages what it takes to live well in Africa. We all have different expectations, different levels of patience and different limits. Africa is also more than fifty countries, each with its own codes, even if many of our cultures are close; Benin, Nigeria and Togo share peoples and languages across their borders.
What follows comes from my life in Benin and my experience across West Africa. It will not apply everywhere, but it will help you decide whether this life is for you. Be warned: your view of life may change.
1. Learn humility and respect
“Humility comes before glory.” Here, it is a survival skill. Our societies are community-based; you live with others, not alone. If you grew up in a more individualistic culture, accept that you cannot always prove you are right. Humility teaches patience, and respect teaches restraint. Stay focused on your goals instead of wasting energy on every battle.
2. Make room for faith and belief
Belief, whether Christian, Muslim or traditional, shapes daily life across the region. You do not have to share anyone’s faith, but you will need to respect its place, and many people find their own balance in it.
3. Accept that family matters more
Family will take a bigger place in your life. It can be a great source of solidarity, something rare elsewhere, and also of pressure and old rivalries. Find your balance: stay close to those you trust, keep a healthy distance from the rest. Do not play “I can do everything alone”; your family name often works like a passport.
4. Respect your elders
Respect for elders is a reality. Parents and elders carry authority, and their blessing still matters to many. Accept it; it will make your life easier.
5. Keep your circle small
Competition is everywhere, sometimes unfairly. News travels fast and reputations are fragile. Build friendships over time and set boundaries with people who are only there for what you bring.
6. Spend your trust wisely
Do not be naïve. You do not need to be paranoid, but keep your private life private. The less people know, the better.
7. Be discreet
Gossip is a national sport in many places. Avoid drawing attention if you want peace. People will talk anyway; do not hand them the stick.
8. Speak little, and usefully
Discretion leads to speaking less and better. It also earns respect.
9. Stop thinking in euros: live local
Imported products are expensive. If you insist on living exactly as you did abroad, your purchasing power will shrink fast. Learn to eat and buy local. Household help is a real advantage here; recruit on recommendation, with a trial period.
10. Do not work around the law
Keep your vehicle papers up to date, respect traffic rules, be courteous with the police, pay your bills and taxes on time and start administrative procedures early. Many services, from taxes to company registration, are now online in several countries, including Benin. Shortcuts may look tempting; they are a dangerous game.
11. Learn patience
This one sums up the rest. If you come from a world where time is money to the minute, triple the time you would plan for a task in France or the United States. Life can be less stressful here, but if you want things to move, build in margins and follow up.
A few practical extras
Adapting is often easier as a couple. If your partner is from another culture, it is a bigger challenge, but very possible. And for the practicalities: solar panels and generators for power cuts, a full tank before you need it, mosquito protection, air conditioning and a water reserve. Everything is a question of anticipation.
Despite the adjustments, you will come to appreciate everything the continent offers. Stop focusing on the negative details and the comparisons. There is so much to build, and you are part of it.
Africa is you. Africa is us.
